Are you like me where you just want people to know your needs off the bat? Not having to ask for anything, just simply showing up?
Humanity challenges us so much and it’s hard to navigate through the muck of coping mechanisms, excuses, fears, needs, wants, etc. It feels like molasses, thick, dense, and sticky.
We participate in life through the lens of our personal experiences which are shaped at super young ages. That’s where we learn our value. Did mom give us the nurturing we needed? Did dad provide the protection we needed? And how are we attached to mom and dad?
It would be awesome to say that no one has any of these symptoms…but it’s not true. And there is not one human on this planet who doesn’t attach to certain people, places, or situations in a particular way. It’s par for the human course. And whether you like it or not, it’s what we’re here to do: EXPERIENCE!
You’ve heard this saying before I’m sure, and if not, here it is: we are spiritual beings having a human experience. BOOM!
It’s so true.
Spirituality is the world of quantum energy: light waves and frequencies; they carry data on every wave sand frequencies. Even if we can’t see them with the human eye, they exist (ex- radio signals, WiFi). Humanity is the world of density: matter and particles (atoms, protons, electrons, etc.). So, a human being is made of matter whose essence is light. How many have heard that saying ‘love and light’? Well there you go.
The thing is, when humans are made, energy is born into matter, and the matter acts as a filter. This is what makes wave or frequency communications with each other challenging. Yes, we are very Sci-Fi, us humans.
There are some folks though, who find it easier to access their wave and frequencies than others and are able to interpret that data even if the matter and particles get in the way. These folks are sensitive and are known as empaths. They have very high levels of intuition (though every human is intuitive) and can interpret information quickly and accurately. Most people do not operate this way.
Because it’s not as common to ‘read’ energy, most people don’t or can’t anticipate the needs of others. It’s a learned humanistic behavior – to ask for something you need, so another knows what to provide for you.
Manuals are not distributed when humans are born. We’re clueless in terms of raising humans and of being raised AS humans. So, there’s a ton of room for messing up. And boy do we mess up! How we are raised and how we interpret being raised is what shapes our lens and helps to create our life.
Since there’s no manual, we have to learn along the way. Yay! More room for messing up (insert explicative here). And we mess up over and over and over. Until we learn that not everyone knows everything like we thought or hoped they did!
But until we get to that realization through experience, we don’t quite understand that we have to ask for our needs to be met. And, if when we were young kiddos, we learned we aren’t worthy of maternal love or paternal protection, because our needs were not met, we’re not going to ask for it because of that belief system of not being worthy enough to receive it.
See what I mean by plenty of opportunities to mess up?
In relationships of any kind, we have a tendency to act or be a certain way, based on the developmental experiences we had. So, when we are ‘relating’ to others and seeing the ‘relationship’ through our personal lens, it’s really unfair to have expectations of others who don’t wear the same lens, because they’ll never see things the way you do. That’s why it’s a partnership, so you can teach and learn from and about each other’s lens.
When you’re experiencing a situation with someone else, and you hold them to the same criteria and standards you’d hold for yourself, you’re doing a disservice to them and yourself. No one will ever know exactly what you need at any given time because we’re designed with that human matter filter which slows down the frequency and wave data gathering process so quickly; And to punish them for not knowing your needs is detrimental to any relationship.
Be a considerate human and use your words, communicate. Do the hard thing and ask for your needs. Frustration, anger, rage is expressed because there’s an unmet need. Yes, asking for your needs is hard to do, because it’s a learned behavior. Remember, we didn’t come with manuals. Don’t punish people for an awareness they don’t have yet.
Take the time to learn about yourself; why aren’t you asking for your needs? Do you even have the awareness of what your needs are? Are you blaming others for something you yourself need clarity with?
There’s no shame in being human. We just have to learn how to manage it during emotional flare ups.
Just know, there’s nothing wrong with you…there’s only experience.